The holidays are coming and as most single people between the ages of 23 and 45 know, this means older relatives believing they are entitled to know about your love life. (Cue eye roll). We’ve all been there, bring a boo to thanksgiving one year, and not the next and dinner turns into 21 questions. Well I’m here to tell you that your business is simply that……YOUR BUSINESS. I’m going to give you 5 quick tips on how to navigate the holidays with your sanity intact!
Change the Subject
If the topic comes up of your singleness, change the subject. How dare someone try to pry into your private life? Sayings like “This Macaroni is on point, who made it this year” as you glare at that nosey relative sends the message that that topic is off limits. I’m not saying you have to be passive aggressive to get your point across, but you know what best works for you and your family.
Acknowledge and Answer (With or without the clap back)
Naturally when someone asks us a question we are usually inclined to answer them. However the way we answer people send off a message that can be just as important as the answer itself. For example, if you are open to conversation responding such as “Yes, I’m still single, but I am open to dating”, creates a warm opportunity to converse about how dating in 2018 sucks!! However if you clap back with “Yes, I’m still single, I have decided I refuse to settle with a man that I hate most days, you know what I mean Cousin Sharon?” that sends a clear message that today is not the day to be discussing your love life over creamed corn. Sometimes you have to check them by asserting yourself.
Lead the conversation.
I have heard of people who will put it on Front Street that they are single, and no it is not open to discussion. The simple phrase of “No I don’t have a ‘friend” Cousin Alex thanks for asking, puts it out there that that is one conversation that won’t be happening today. If you feel like this is how you want to address your relationship status go for it!
Decline to Answer
There’s something empowering about telling someone NO when you mean it. The same can be said by not feeding into your nosey family members. For example If nosey Aunt Suzette wants to know what happened to the person you brought with you last year a simple “My love life is off the discussion list for table talk this year” send a message that she’s not going to get the public answer she’s been waiting 6 months ( since y’all broke up) to hear. Poor Aunt Suzette.
Bring a Platonic Friend to Functions.
This last option may work if your family tends to be on their best behavior when new people are around. Bring a friend that is of no romantic interest to you, and everybody wins! However if this does not work, please refer back to 1-4!
If you feel like any of these options will not work this year, and the holidays have you feeling bad. Come make an appointment with me, and I’ll help you get through this season. Remember your love life is just that, and no one has the right to your private information. T Told ya so!
Tia MSW, MEd, LCSW Certified Sex Therapist
Photo by Kevin Curtis on Unsplash
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash