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  • Writer's pictureTia E.

The Healing in Hypersexuality

Hypersexuality is the real or perceived notion that a person is going “over the top” to be sexually expressive. This could be displayed in the acts of having as much sex as possible with multiple or even the same partner(s), to wearing revealing clothing or posting sexually explicit things constantly on social media. While adult people are free to express themselves in the way that they feel is appropriate to them there is underlying intention or why or how people move in the space given to them. Hypersexuality often comes out as a response to trauma, and while it might look scandalous to others, it can be a necessary part of one’s healing process.

The Why?

Trauma or traumatic experiences can attack us in various ways. When we are taken to those lows the body wants to do whatever it can to feel good. What feels good? Having sex and/or being perceived as sexually attractive. Hypersexuality can also be a response to depression, anxiety, high stress, and many other mental health concerns. Believe it or not, this is a normal response. For example, I have worked with patients who after being sexual assaulted immediately jumped in a ‘heaux phase’ to affirm within themselves that they are in control of their trauma. Just as I have worked with patients who have tried to sex the depression away. While this can be a temporary fix when the high is over, the lows can and often return. This can cause the person to engage in more sexual activity again and again and the cycle continues.

What About Empowerment and Liberation?

Yes, channeling a sexual awakenment as apart of taking back your power can look like or mimic hypersexuality but this is not quite the same. First off, who gon check you? If this is where you are in your journey ENJOY IT, and its normal. Being sexually liberated means you know or are learning what you like or don’t like sexually. This is not the same as being sexually expressive as a means of coping with the traumas in life.

What Happens Next?

Once you can acknowledge or decide if you are in a cycle of hypersexuality or it truly is an act of liberation, and you want to do something about it reach out to a therapist for help. Know that your actions and what you have decided to do with your body is normal and valid. It was what you needed at the time as a way of healing. However, a therapist can help you to further process your feelings and can teach you how to engage in coping skills you may deem “healthier” to become a better version of yourself.

Tia E.


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