I remember riding with my mom on a bright Saturday morning I was about 10 or 11 I turned to her and said. “When are we gonna have the talk?” She looked shocked that I had asked her that so randomly. She proceeded to say, sex is when a man puts his penis into a woman vagina and its also called making love. That was THE talk. About two days later she brings me this book entitled Almost 12 by Kenneth Taylor.
She told me to read it then ask questions when I was done……. So basically at 10 I’m supposed to teach myself about sex through reading? Right, but I did I read it. And I begin to use all these new vocabulary words with my friends at school!! Almost 12 teaches adolescent tweens about sex from a Christian point of view. It is supposed to supplement “The Talk”, but not be it!!! At that age it was very informative, but the experience was unbelievable. 4 or 5 years later I would be losing my virginity to a guy Id only known for a month because he told me I was beautiful….. I say all this to say parents, YES that conversation is hard YES, you may be opening your children’s eyes to a whole new world, but that’s you job to lead you child in the direction you want them to go. You want your baby girl or boy to say no if they feel pressured to have sex, you want them to use condoms if they decide they do want to have sex. NO you are not consenting your tween/teen to go have sex, but you are educating them that if they do decide to do so, to please be careful and responsible!!! If you do not teach your child about sex they will learn from someone else, and when you don’t know facts from fiction, especially as a child its easy to spread false information (just like a STD). The talk will not be easy, so I suggest you practice it and let the child’s other parent(s) know that its time. Don’t just shove a book into their hands. Be open and willing to hear those adult questions come from your baby, because I promise you they will appreciate it in the long run. Also it doesn’t hurt to start early. I’m not saying tell your 3 year old about what sex is, but saying things like these are your no no places when he or she is getting dressed in the morning, or things like “The places we have to cover up when we go swimming, should always be covered up”. Don’t underestimate your kids because children are soooo smart. If you don’t talk to your children about sex, the wrong person will.
Tia Evans, MSW