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  • Writer's pictureTia E.

How To Add Some Spark To Your Sex Life This New Year!!

  1. Relearn Your Body

Take the time to learn what makes you feel good, mentality, emotionally, physically and sexually. If you are not a skin hungry person that’s ok, and if you need to be touched all the time that’s ok too. Take time to reconnect with yourself; however, that might look like to you. It’s ok to make love to yourself, as well (masturbate). That could be just what your body needed.

  1. Teach Your Body To Your Partner(s)

After you have reconnected with yourself, then it is time to teach your partner what you like. For example, if you need your morning coffee before the first hug, or vise versa, it is important your partner is aware of that. Show them how you like to be touched. Teach them your communication style. Be patient with them as they are learning who you are. It can be a never ending journey.

  1. Don’t Fake Orgasms

It’s 2018 why do people still fake orgasms? In the end, you are doing a disservice to yourself and your partner(s) if you are auditioning for an Oscar in the bedroom. If your spots are not being “hit” to your liking, show them in a loving way, or even talk about it after the session if you feel comfortable doing so. Nobody likes to be lied to, and unfortunately, faking an orgasm is lying.

  1. Take A Break From Technology Daily

Pick a time each day to turn your phone off, and encourage your partner(s) to do the same. Even if it’s only 30 minutes, unplug yourself to focus on you and your loved one. Use the time to check in with one another, soon it will become a habit.

  1. Wear A Sexy Outfit To Bed Randomly

Sometimes nothing is sexier than slipping on some nice lingerie or new PJs. Even if there is no one waiting for you in bed, it’s ok to get sexy for yourself. If there is someone waiting for you in bed it’s a plus. What a boost in confidence to see yourself in something nice. Use this opportunity to focus on how the fabric feels on your body. Imagine how the fabric will compliment your skin to your lover.

  1. Tease Your Lover(s)

Try cooking in see through clothing (as long as you’re not frying anything lol). Cover your partner(s) eyes and give them sexy kisses, or nibble their ears. Get creative. The idea is to leave your partner with enough to get their imagination running. It’s like mental foreplay, so when it is “sexy time” the juices are flowing (pun intended).

  1. Go To A Burlesque Show

Try something new, a burlesque show is something elegant yet risqué. Maybe there will be something you see there that you will want to incorporate into your bedroom routine. Look on your local search engine for shows near you, or try discount apps. Make it a surprise date night. Go in with an open mind and enjoy the show.

8. Research New Positions

Sometimes the quickest way to enhance your bedroom repertoire is to learn new positions that are pleasurable to yourself and your lover(s). Make things up as you go along, and remember to keep it consensual.

  1. Try Something Kinky

You hear me say this all the time, but everybody has kink. If you are not already involved in kinky play in the bedroom start out slow. Try things like feathers, blindfolds, or even some fuzzy handcuffs. You’d be surprised what you can use at home for kink play. Be creative, and SAFE!!.

  1. Wear Sexy Underwear To Work

Here’s another way to make yourself feel sexy without anyone knowing. Who says those VS panties or Elephant Briefs have to stay at home? You’ve got a secret, and it’s not a new pair of work shoes!!

  1. Send A Risky Text

You know those sexy underwear you went to work in, snap a quick photo, send them to your lover, with a quick note such as “I miss you” or “Can’t wait to be in your arm again” and see what happens next. And remember you don’t have to have your face in the picture. Feel free to delete it after you send it.

  1. Make Time For Yourself

It’s so easy to get wrapped up in work and needs of others. But like I tell a lot of my patients, How can you take care of others, if you aren’t taking care of yourself first? Make time for yourself daily, even if it’s to take a long hot bath. Everybody needs me time, it’s ok to put yourself first, from time to time.

  1. Bounce Ideas Off Your Close Friends

Sometimes your friends can give you better advice than anything you can find online. The truth is they probably have the best ideas, because they know you better than most people. Don’t be afraid to look towards people you deem trustworthy in your circle for advice.

  1. Go On Dates

Once a week, plan a date (start with once a month if need be), where you set out dedicated time for your partner to do things you like. This does not mean you have to spend a lot of money weekly. Depending on the weather, plan things to do outside. There are lots of free date ideas all around.

  1. Try A Baecation

Plan a weekend getaway (or longer) with your lover. Just you two, no kids, or other family members. Go to the beach, or the mountains (whatever you will enjoy with your lover(s)). There are even some cruises that are only a couple of days long, if you are looking to really get away. Use this time to truly reconnect with your lover, and to explore one another in a different setting.

  1. Get A Weekend Babysitter

To go along with that baecation, if there are children/pets involved. Check with your children as often as you need to, but remember they are safe and being taken care of.

  1. Learn Your Partner(s) Needs

There’s nothing like reciprocation in relationships. It’s only right that if you want your partner(s) to learn your needs, you are doing the same for your partner(s).

  1. Keep Relationship Woes Off Social Media!!

This does not need saying, but there’s a reason why for most relationships you only see the happy times on social media. As much as society loves to be nosy, it’s not a surprise how there are some people who also prey on negativity and the downfall of others. When you argue with your lover(s) online or share screenshots of messages and pictures with the world, you are putting your relationship at risk of being damaged beyond repair. Remember once you post something online, it will always be there

Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash

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